


Keeping Semen in the Fridge is Wrong

by Sherlock1110



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Handcuffs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 14:34:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5209457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherlock1110/pseuds/Sherlock1110
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the prompt;</p><p>"For gods sake Sherlock you can't just keep semen in the fridge?"</p><p>"What? You obviously weren't using it!"</p><p>Trying to keep the argument quiet during a drugs bust please? Thanks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keeping Semen in the Fridge is Wrong

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [DNA](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5209508) by [sherlockian4evr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlockian4evr/pseuds/sherlockian4evr). 



> Beta read by sherlockian4evr

When Anderson picked up his violin, Sherlock couldn't help himself. He swung a punch, it hit him square on the nose and he yelled obscenities at the younger man as a response. "Lestrade! I demand you arrest him for assault."

"Oh Anderson, man up! He barely touched you."

"You're not even a copper, why are you here?" Sherlock growled. 

Greg stopped him from swinging another punch by grabbing his wrist. 

"I will cuff you, Sherlock, if you don't let us do our job. Or alternatively, you can hand over the evidence and we can continue?"

The detective frowned. "Make him put down my violin!" Sherlock spat. 

"Stop being childish, Sherlock. Put it down Anderson. Bloody hell it’s like picking my kids up from nursery."

"It's suspicious though isn't it?" The forensic scientist said. "It makes me wonder what he's got stashed inside it…"

Sherlock lunged again and the DI grabbed him. He grabbed both his wrists and cuffed them behind him in one smooth motion to the sound of Anderson's dry chuckles. "I warned you, Sherlock," Greg said, his face stern. 

The detective sighed and his head snapped across to the door as it swung open to reveal John. 

"Sherlock, what have you hidden?"

Greg smiled. "Alright, mate?"

"What's he done?"

"Withholding evidence of course."

"And why's he cuffed?"

"He's getting shitty with Anderson. Will you stick him in the corner or do whatever it is you do to control him?"

John rolled his eyes, paced to his lover and pushed him into his armchair. Then he proceeded to sit on him. Sherlock whimpered as his wrists pressed back into the chair. 

"John, I think you should take the jam jar out of the fridge," Sherlock whispered in the doctor's ear. 

"Why?"

"It's not jam inside it."

"I asked you what it was this morning. It's white and clearly not jam," he hissed back. 

"No, it's semen."

"For God’s sake, Sherlock. You can't just keep semen in the fridge!"

"What? You obviously weren't using it!"

The DI froze where he was across the room. "Using what?" He asked. 

"It doesn't matter," Sherlock insisted then lowered his voice again. "You need to get it John. I obviously can't, not with you sat on top of me and my hands behind my back."

"Why are you bothered about it anyway? It'll humiliate me, not you. You usually don't care."

"I resent that implication. But it's for my experiment."

John sighed and stood up. "You just completely contradicted yourself."

"Are you going to uncuff me, Lestrade?"

"If you cooperate."

"I'lltellyouwhatyouwanttoknow," he spoke so fast because he saw Donovan going to open the fridge. 

"You'll do what?" Greg frowned. None of that had made any sense. 

Donovan's hand was on the fridge door handle. "I'll cooperate!"

"Alright guys, clear off, the place is clean!"

"I've been telling you that for years," Sherlock snapped.


End file.
